lyrics and music by Benjamin Newman

Dragon for sale! Dragon for sale!
Fiery breath and a venomous tail,
And the wind from his wings is a powerful gale!
Does anyone want to buy him?

Dragon for sale! Dragon for sale!
Invincible ‘xcept where he’s missing a scale,
And the sight of him makes even grown men grow pale!
Does anyone want to buy him?

I’ve bargained and bartered for a year and a day,
There’s not much of a market in dragons, they say,
For these past several centuries, or so I’ve been told.
Now, how will I get my dragon sold?

Dragon for lease! Dragon for lease!
His strength and his stature will only increase!
Just be sure he eats plenty of damsels and grease!
Does anyone want to buy him?

Dragon for rent! Dragon for rent!
Armor like steel and a heart like cement,
And a brain overbrimming with evil intent!
Does anyone want to buy him?

The market was better when the king was in power,
And the princess was locked in that perilous tower,
(Why, back then we were selling six dragons an hour!)
For no end of silver, and a fair bit of gold —
Now, how will I get my dragon sold?

Dragon to lend! Dragon to lend!
Jaws that bite, claws that catch, and sharp talons that rend!
Every rival has met with a horrible end!
Does anyone want to buy him?

Dragon for free! Dragon for free!
He’s eaten me out of house, cavern, and tree,
And I don’t like the way he’s been looking at me…
Does anyone want to buy him?